appetizer easy-peasy favorites party food random musings Uncategorized

Snack Attack

Child and Husband are currently playing “Airport” (each room in the house is a different airport and they’re traveling great distances to different restaurants) and I’ve been told very clearly by a short person that I’m not allowed to play. Thanks kid, guess I’ll go write a blog entry.

Triscuit thin, goat cheese, condiment, prosciutto.

Explanation is as follows:

We took a week-long trip to the Orlando area in Florida for family & friends trip. We hit the highlights – LEGOLAND (I’m not yelling at you, that’s how it’s written out), NASA, Disney’s Magic Kingdom, Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and some random local spots like the roadside stop my friend and I discovered that I’m about to write about.

This about sums it up: “Oh hey look fresh local citrus stand, let’s stop and get some… why is there a giant shark out front and monster truck school busses in the back?” As it turns out, this produce stand is actually a gift shop, u-pick citrus grove, swamp tour (hence the school busses on monster truck tires), bar and wine shop, smoothie stand and country store (with cats!) and it. was. AWESOME. (This time I’m yelling.) My friend and I immediately reverted to our 16 year old selves and posed with the shark, pretended to get eaten by it, cuddled all the cats, “ewwwww!”-d at and subsequently played with the gator heads and gator feet back scratchers, cracked up over the zombie bee keeper (statue? life-sized voodoo doll? not sure how to describe it), tried all the free samples of jams and salsas and citrus, wished we’d scheduled time for the monster bus rides and generally “oooh shiny object!”-d all over the joint.

Since we are “adults” we only made responsible purchases. Like 5lbs of assorted citrus, four jars of jams/salsas/relish a piece, and a sampler of local honeys.  We were clearly not thinking of the fact that we’d have to pack this all in our checked bags and fly it home without it breaking. Details. (Side note: both our bags were searched by TSA, and all of our jars had been unwrapped and re-wrapped from their travel snuggles. Travel snuggles? Yeah, not sure how else to describe the ridiculous lengths we went to in order to pad the jars so they wouldn’t break in transit. Surprise! Not drugs, just condiments. I find this wildly funny for some reason.) The oranges didn’t make it home, they were consumed in record time. Florida citrus straight off the tree is NO. JOKE. I am actually drooling a little remembering it. Anyway…

In my smörgåsbord arsenal I now have Cajun candy (sweet jalapeño relish), citrus salsa, blackberry jalapeño jam, spicy peach jam, and a honey sampler (wildflower, orange blossom, saw palmetto, and gallberry). AKA – Snacker’s Paradise. This brings us to the “Triscuit thin, goat cheese, condiment, prosciutto” portion of the entry.

This combo works with every item I brought home with me including the honey. It is stupidly simple and the perfect combo of savory & sweet (and slow burn heat if you go the jam or relish route). It plays well with different wines, satisfies the crunch craving, and would work easily with other kinds of charcuterie-esque meats. Goat cheese not your thing? Sub in cheddar or gouda or whatever and it’d still be bomb dot com. These would be awesome to bring to a party, which I’m going to do later this month. Bonus: Triscuit thins are the perfect pop the whole thing in your mouth size and the usual “I bit this in half and now I have prosciutto hanging out of my mouth and cracker crumbs all over the place” is a non-issue. Nobody needs that kind of anxiety when at a get together. Nobody. Problem solved, you’re welcome.

So, in conclusion, to experience one-bite nirvana put equal parts cheese and condiment on a Triscuit thin, top with a bit of prosciutto, and nosh away. Cheers!

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seriously though… what is this thing?

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Also this, because what is this maturity thing people speak of?

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